Sorry for the lack of update last week, I missed it because, ironically, I was at a graphic novel workshop.
Vote Incentive: This page without all the noisy dialogue.
“At first, to anyone who could pay.” (vs. can)
“It was no longer about making a profit but about causing chaos, and that’s when we got scared.” (vs. prophet and scarred)
“She preyed on the weak and disenfranchised” (vs. prayed)
oops, this is really why I need an editor
I like that. “Reality was an oppressive force meant to enslave humanity.” I mean, that’s self involvment raised to the level of a serial killer. When you think *reality* has it out for you those like you… when you think the only reason the whole of the universe exists is to opress YOU (and those who agree with you)… yeah. Suddenly mass murder seems like a reasonable and justified action.
Yma is certainly has a few screws loose. I have to say writing the rhetoric for that pamphlet was really fun, I channeled my late 19th century manifesto writer.
Your original word choices were actually correct.
-“to anyone who could pay” what’s being told is in the past tense so ‘could’ is proper here instead of ‘can’ which would be present tense.
-‘profit’ is to make money. A ‘prophet’ is a holy person.
-‘scared’ is to be fearful or frightened. ‘scarred’ is to have scars.
-‘preyed’ past tense of prey which can be used to mean to take advantage of someone.
Nelligrand… you seem to be operating under the assumption that the page has been changed and was initially correct. If one is to go by Ockham’s Razor, the most probable conclusion is that it hasn’t been changed at all, and that the errors pointed out by Randy (communicated in a potentially misleading manner) remain in their initial form.
Curiously enough, I didn’t immediately pick up on the “prophet” / “profit” one myself, as I assumed the woman was genuinely trying to find some sort of visionary figure for her supernatural ideals.
Well, plus there is the word “liberetors” in the background pamphlet, which should probably have been “liberators”… BUT as that is an in-world document, the error belongs with the character.
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